On Muir Woods

     We are going to drive to Muir Woods today to be among the tall trees.  When I am in the woods, I think about Thoreau and Emerson and the importance of recharging ones batteries.  I love the way the air smells when I get away from the city and spend the day at the ocean, forest, or in the wine country.  I can almost spell the redwood trees and feel the coolness of the ferns... plants alive at the time of the dinosaurs. 
     One of the best memories I have was when I was in the sixth grade and spent a week at Foothill Horizons camp, where we learned how to build a survival shelter while it was drizzling and we cooked little hamburgers on coffee tins (that was in my pre-vegetarian days).  That camp experience taught me about the healing power of nature and gave me some tools for survival. 
     We are surrounded by nutitious foods in the woods, but may not know what is edible and what can harm us.  Buckwheat feather kernals can be ground into a meal and used for pancakes.  There are wild blackberries and miner's lettuce along the trails.  I wonder how birds look at the landscape... scan for red berries in a tree.  How did the Miwok and Ohlone tribes survive year after year?  The men wore little clothing when the weather was warm and the women wore tule skirts, deerskin garments, and skirts made of brush.  They ate a lot of ground up acorns (made edible by soaking them in water to remove the bitterness), berries, salmon, perch, and some wild animals and abalone.
    The world has changed drastically for human beings in the last 200 years... we are continuing to change at a dizzying pace.  Some of the changes are good- in my opinion.  Women, at least in parts of the world, are going to college, driving cars, paying their own bills, encouraged to offer their opinion, and given opportunities to develop their unique selves.  In the past, when a woman married a husband, she would take his name and be his "help mate".   Women would be in charge of the home, while the men would be in charge of the farm, commerce, the world at large.
     I grew up in a very patriarchal family, where the women cooked, set the table, and served the food and cleaned up the dishes while the men sat and talked about football and the price of black walnuts and the latest tech gadgets in the living room and then came into the dining room to eat.  I remember playing the "Dating Game" - a board game where the object was to snag a man and not wind up an Old Maid.  I remember the potential dates - the jock, the hipster, the doctor, the golfer, the loser.  I also remember playing a card game called Old Maid, where the loser ends up the one who didn't marry.  The other little lesson I learned was about popcorn kernals... the ones that didn't pop were derided as Old Maids... and that was a bad thing.  The most important thing in the world, according to my many of my family members, was to get married and not wind up alone.
     My mom taught me that it is better to be alone than in bad company.  When I came out as bisexual to my mom, she took it in stride and accepted my partner.  She sent my partner cards in the mail and was part of our life.  My mom was the only person in the family who accepted me and became part of our shared life.   Being in a lesbian relationship was the equivalent of being invisible to my family during those eight years... when I look back on that time and the way my family (except for my mom) reacted when I came out, I feel sad. 
     The only way to gain acceptance in my family is to "blend in with the woodwork".  There is a part of me that goes against the grain.  I am the daughter of a black sheep.  I have never fit in and don't want to.  In my opinion, Old Maids may be the lucky ones, the ones who get to walk in the sun, twirl around in circles, cultivate their minds, and find out what they are here on Earth to do.  Why are some families so open to letting their children choose what brings them happiness, and other families only focused on the status quo?
     There have been many times in my life when I have preferred my own company over that with other people.  When I am alone, I feel free.  Since I am an only child, I developed an enjoyment of playing alone at an early age.  Solitude and wilderness recharge me.